Sermon
10th September 2017
Text:
Matthew 18:15-20 – Christian Conflict Resolution
Jesus
deals with a very sensitive topic today – the topic of conflict within the
church.
Conflict
doesn’t have to be a negative experience in the church or in any form of
relationship.
Rather
it can be an opportunity to delve deeper into a relationship.
Jesus
provides advice for resolving conflicts among church members which can also be
used outside of the church as we deal with others in our families, in our
marriage, in our workplace.
The
world is confused when they hear that churches can sometimes have conflicts.
Don't
tell me Christians can't get along with each other!!!
What
hypocrites!!!
It
goes to show they are not true followers of Jesus!
We
know that’s not true.
Conflicts
can occur in even the strongest congregations and relationships.
A
conflict even arose amongst Jesus’ disciples when James and John requested to
be seated in places of honour in heaven:
When
the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. (Mark
10:35-41)
The
earliest church community had a major conflict when Paul and Barnabas had to go
their separate ways over a conflict as to whether or not to bring Mark along
with them (Acts 15:36-41).
Paul
wrote his first letter to the Corinthians because of a conflict that had
occurred in one of the very first churches.
Conflicts
will always arise because of human nature but it’s how we deal with those
conflicts that sets us apart as Christians rather than being a church without
conflict.
Harm
will come to a church community when if refuses to deal with conflicts.
Conflicts
do not need to break down churches.
Dealing
with conflict in a proper way that uses confession and forgiveness can in fact
build a church up.
Jesus
knows this and gives instructions for dealing with conflict among Christians.
His
first instruction is - If another member of the church sins against you, go and
point out the fault when the two of you are alone.
Our
human nature has a tendency to deal differently when we are hurt.
Our
instant reaction is to hurt back – to even up the hurt.
We
find others to support us – we create a division – whose side are you on – we
begin to gossip about the other person.
It
becomes a shouting match and we become in danger of saying hurtful words –
words we regret – words we cannot take back.
That
never resolves a conflict but inflicts more and more hurt.
Or
we become defensive when someone points out our fault.
We
make excuses or we may avoid the conflict by leaving.
It
becomes a swapping of accusations – what about the time you did …
St
Paul says that this not how love is shown when he says – love keeps no record
of wrongs.
And
that’s probably the difference between conflict resolution with a Christian
understanding and how the world deals with conflict - forgiveness.
Christian
conflict resolution reflects God’s conflict resolution with us.
God
did not look for us to make the first move or to even up the hurt we caused.
St
Paul says: God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us
while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:8)
And
there is the challenge for us – will we be the ones who seek reconciliation
even if we are the ones who have been hurt?
Jesus
understands that human nature gets in the way of our ability to reconcile
conflict so he says:
If
you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you and If the
member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church;
Jesus
provides a process for healing from conflict and it does not include blame or
retribution.
Jesus
recognises that sometimes in a conflict we need to listen to others.
Sometimes
it’s too difficult because of the hurt to be able to work through the matter
ourselves so we ask the church for help.
In
a conflict sometimes both parties believe they have been wronged and instead of
healing there is more hurt created.
Sometimes
we are so hurt that we cannot see how we have contributed to the conflict or we
are so hurt that we just cannot forgive.
How
often don’t we hear – I could never forgive that person for what they have
done.
Words
we will never hear God say!
And
so Jesus also understands that sometimes it’s just so hard to forgive.
It’s
just so hard to overlook the hurt that has been caused.
In
those cases we need our church community – not to take sides or work out who is
right and who is wrong – but to support and bring healing.
Conflict
resolution is not about working out who is right and who is wrong – it is about
forgiveness and reconciliation.
Jesus
finally says: if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let that
person be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
Sadly
we have at times misunderstood what Jesus is saying here.
We
have used that as a reason to excommunicate someone.
We
have used it to withhold communion from that person.
But
again we need to look to Jesus and the example he set in treating Gentiles and
Tax Collectors.
Jesus
sat down and ate with them.
Jesus
spent time with them.
Jesus
loved and cared for them.
While
the religious leaders criticised Jesus for eating with Tax Collector Zacchaeus,
it was Jesus’ love that changed his heart and brought healing.
While
the disciples questioned Jesus’ time spent with the Canaanite woman and the
Samaritan woman at the well, it was that time that produced great faith and
even spread the word by the Samaritan woman to her people.
It
was Jesus acceptance of a Samaritan Leper that caused him to turn back and
worship Jesus.
Whereas
conflict is a painful experience to go through, it is a joy as you work through
that conflict and grow deeper in your understanding – deeper in your love –
deeper in your relationship with that person.
As
the Psalm says: How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in
unity! (Psalm 133:1)
But
even more than that it brings you deeper into your relationship with God as you
begin to understand the pain that God went through as his people rejected him –
rejected his son – and went after other gods.
Life
is too short to remain in conflict.
How
often I have seen a person who has regretted last words said to a person who
has died and realised they can no longer take back those words.
Paul
reminds us of that shortness of time and how important it is in the church as
our concern should be to get the Gospel out into the world.
So
often the Gospel is hindered because of our conflicts.
Paul
reminds us that salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers;
Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light; let
us live honorably as in the day, not in quarreling and jealousy. (Romans 13:13)
Conflict
is never easy but it becomes an inevitable part of any relationship.
It
doesn’t mean the relationship is over or in trouble but has reached a point
where understanding and learning is needed.
It
is an opportunity to grow deeper in love and understanding of each other.
Just
think how God grew deeper in his relationship with us as he dealt with his
conflict with us;
He
began by destroying the human race he regretted creating with a flood.
He
introduced a system of sacrifice where his people would acknowledge and pay for
their sin through daily complicated sacrifice.
He
exiled them out of his land but his love brought them back.
And
then his deepest love for us would be shown as he sacrificed is one and only
Son to fully reconcile us for all time.
Conflict
resolution takes sacrifice but leads to deeper and rich blessings.
We
are thankful that God treats us as Jesus treated pagans and tax collectors.
He
invites us to sit with him at his table and receive again the cost of his
conflict resolution – the body and blood of his Son.
May
we too reflect that sacrifice in our relationships, here in church, and in our
daily lives as we reflect God’s love and reconciliation with others.
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